American Diversity: The Languages of the West

Aww broseph, that's sooo sick!

Netflix Experiment Part 2

I finally got around to watching 3 Ninjas after watching Surf Ninjas right away. Here are my findings:

1) 3 Ninjas is way better. It didn't necessarily seem that way when i was younger but its true. I think it's because there is something in 3 Ninjas for everyone, where Surf Ninja's only really appeals to ten year old kids who like game gear and sass talking.

2) The kidnappers in 3 Ninjas are hilarious. For those who don't know, these guys are surfer dudes who say dude every three words and i fully support it.

3) My childhood isn't ruined. 3 Ninjas was as good as i remember it. Surf Ninjas was lame but i was probably somewhat of a sarcastic little punk, just like the kids in the movie so i know what i saw in it.

4) Ninjas are badass. There was sweet ninja stuff going on in both films, no beefing on that front.

5) I should stop writing posts about ninjas.

Pretty Sweet

This girl looks like she has noodles for legs. It's "wheely" good. GET IT!?

Nerd Alert!

The path to the dark side

Holy shit you guys. The nerdiest assault in world history occurred in Great (yeah right) Britain recently when a dude dressed as Darth Vader attacked the founder of Britain's Jedi church and his cousin. Really, this actually happened.

So the dude was apparently wasted when he attacked and has no recollection of it. (Un)Luckily for him the ultra nerds had a camcorder set up to tape themselves having a light saber battle. I think maybe this is what would have happened if these characters were real and in high school. The school badass, Darth Vader, gets totally hammered and attacks the Jedi nerds with a metal crutch. Talk about a fan fiction opportunity! Star Wars High school, someone get on that.

So anyway, I find this story extremely hilarious. This dude obviously knew about the Jedi church and was probably cracking jokes about it with his buddies. They decide they're going to each finish a box of wine, last one done has to attack the Jedi dudes. They create a makeshift costume out of an old Vader Halloween mask and a garbage bag and reach for the closest thing to a light saber their drunk minds can come up with, a metal crutch.

My only problem with any of this is the reaction of the Jedi dudes. I mean, let's be real, these dudes probably fantasize about fighting Darth Vader all the f-ing time. Then they're lucky enough to be in a situation where he straight up attacks them, when they are about to tape themselves having a light saber battle, and they don't take the opportunity to kick Vader's ass. Come on! Its two on one, its self defense, its on tape, they have "light sabers"...holy shit did they blow it. Instead they puss out, take a couple undefended crutch whacks and run to the law.

The force is weak in these clowns.

[AP]

Thank Matthew Lesko for your Economic Stimulus

Matthew Lesko rulez. Fo' Sho.

The Netflix Experiment

Surf ninjas is here dudes. It's f-ing here. I plan on watching it along with 3 ninjas, back to back. I'm going to do a little experiment. I remember seriously thinking these movies were awesome back in the day. Not ironically, not awesomely bad, but serious cinematic masterpieces. I feel like this time around it might not be the same and therefore crushing everything my inner child holds dear. A lesser lover of America would bow from this challenge, content in the knowledge that what was awesome to a ten year old version of themselves would hold up to their mature, blog writing current self. I am not this person however and I dedicate myself to the task. I'll report back on my findings.

Goodbye inner child...or hello eternal innocence? Stay tuned.