10 Years of Magic

Some of you that don't read XXL regularly may not have heard that this year is the ten year anniversary of the debut album and follow-up of music's greatest enigma. Who could it be you ask; Prince, or Lauren Hill, or even Mase? No, someone even more mystifying...DMX. Ten years ago DMX became the first artist to have two albums go platinum in the same year, no kidding. Unfortunately I think he also set world records for no shows and arrests. My hero.

In celebration of ten years of scaring the shit out of people, DMX has been doing interviews and appearing in a lot of magazines. I recently read XXL's interview with him and it changed my life. Here's some excerpts with my added commentary:

Right. So what artists are you listening to right now?
Same ones I been listening to—Nas and Scarface.

Nas and Scarface?
Yep, Nas and Scarface.

- Nas and Scarface huh DMX? Then one would assume that your albums would have the feel of a Nas or Scarface album. Are you sure you've only been listening to Nas and Scarface albums? Are you sure you don't mean old DMX albums? I'm not trying to say that they all sound the same. Actually, yes, that is what I'm trying to say. I liked DMX's album the first time he did it, even the second time, but by the third and on it began to wear thin.

What were you doing in between—from the last album to this one, that whole time? What have you been up to?
Life. I been up to that. It’s been crazy. Fuckin’ police keep on fuckin’ raiding my house and shit for nothing. They took all my fuckin’ guns. All they did is take my guns. All they fuckin’ do is fuck my house up and take my guns. That’s all they did. Straight robbed me—that’s what they did.

- They took all your guns? Thank the Lord! First of all, DMX is a convicted felon, which means he's not allowed to own guns, so I'm pretty sure they didn't "rob" him. Second of all, he's DMX! You know how much safer we are when he's not strapped? Dude gets into enough trouble by himself, we don't need him armed.

On Barack Obama:
Wow, Barack! The n*’s name is Barack. Barack? N* named Barack Obama. What the fuck, man?! Is he serious? That ain’t his fuckin’ name. Ima tell this n* when I see him, “Stop that bullshit. Stop that bullshit” [laughs] “That ain’t your fuckin’ name.” Your momma ain’t name you no damn Barack.

- This from a guy who goes by "DMX". Too bad convicted felons can't vote, he's got his finger on the pulse of the nation.

I'm pretty sure DMX is the most entertaining dude in the world. I hope he stays out of prison so he can do more interviews.

BONUS CHALLENGE: I have always wondered which word/sound comes up most in DMX's discography; is it the f word, the n word, or dog barks? First person to answer this question wins!

"(growling noises)"