Metro Dynamics: A Study of Zombies and Fourth Graders

"Does no food on the metro include brains?"

America Rulez is currently based out of America's Capital City, Washington, DC. This means at least two important things. First, I'm on the pulse of the Nation's capital and therefore the nation itself. Second, it means that I ride the Metro a lot. When I'm riding the Metro I can't help but observe a number of strange and interesting behaviors. Perhaps these behaviors come out because of the abnormal dynamic of the metro. It's really one of few places where adults lose their personal space on a regular basis and are forced to spend time with total strangers in close quarters. This unique atmosphere let's me observe a number of interesting phenomena.

There is often an eerie silence on the Metro during rush hour. For the most part people are zombies on their daily commute. In the morning they are tired, some holding onto sleep while others are mentally preparing for the day. I feel like when people are traveling they aren't really in their bodies. They leave their minds in bed until they get to work, allowing them to be extra rested once the day begins. The same is true on the ride home. Some people are silently tying up the loose ends of their work day while transitioning their minds to their personal lives and priorities, while others merely go into power save mode until they must interact with roommates or family members. It's similar to being on a long road trip where you zone out and realize that you haven't really been paying attention the last hour of your drive. I'm afraid that if for some reason I'm killed or I die on the Metro, my mind will be trapped at work or in bed. I hope someone lets it know that it's now homeless.

I noticed one other interesting and irritating of the Metro phenomena. This is when seemingly normal and grown up people become anxious and impatient fourth graders. I work in an area of DC called Farragut North and the majority of morning Metro riders heading down with me on the Red Line exit at this stop. Every single day the vast majority of people leave at this stop, causing the doors to remain open much longer than most other stops. Despite this consistent fact many seemingly normal adults experience an inner panic reminiscent of trying to be first in line on the way to lunch in grade school. These people will get up twenty seconds before the train stops and anxiously push their way to the doors, asking people to move out of the way or even awkwardly pushing past them when in all likelihood these people will also be exiting.

The other day I was sitting on the outside seat while the inside rider made all the "getting off the train" motions, which I mirrored by tensing up, trying to signal that I too would be leaving. Still they found the need to tap me and let me know they will be getting off, but in a rude manner. I gave them the head nod but I refused to get up before the train stops, I know that the doors will not shut on me and therefore can wait two seconds in my seat. That was mildly annoying.

The worst though was when I am standing on a packed train and someone elbows their way through me as the train slows to the station. By some miracle I manage to get off even though i don't plow my way to the front. Maybe it's just my inner irritation with budgers (line cutters), but this kind of thing bothers me.