Frosted Frustration

Good source of fiber and frustration

I've been eating mad Bite Size Frosted Mini Wheats lately and I got some issues I need to address.

1) The bite size is still too big.

Ok, this is my main problem with FMW. I know what you're thinking: "but they're bite size" and also "you're a pussy". Don't be a dick. Listen up, I have no problem with the size when it comes to eating the cereal, that's fine. My beef is that the current size makes milk portioning very difficult. Let me explain. Whenever I'm pouring out milk for normal cereal it's pretty easy to guage how much I need. FMW's are different though because their larger size makes them less compact in the bowl. There is more air space for the milk to fill then with normal cereal. This makes me think I should use less. So I always use about the same or less, which leaves about a quarter of the cereal floating above the milk.

Now FMW just aren't as delish if they aren't in milk. The dry ones are lame to the max. But with that quarter floating above the fray, blocking all the milk soaked ones, it becomes difficult to eat the ones I want. So I end up grabbing one at a time from the bottom, in turn using more milk per spoonful than I normally would, and I end up with no milk and a bowl of half damp/half dry cereal. Then I have to re-pour like a total loser and it ruins my day. So if you're reading this "person from Kellogg that scours obscure blogs for product suggestions", make them smaller.

2) They have beef gelatin in them?

I looked this stuff up on wikipedia first to make sure there wasn't a smaller size I was unaware of, when I discovered they contain beef gelatin. F*ck that. I guess I have no issue with beef gelatin, but in my cereal? Kind of gross.

3) The "big bite" sized ones.

Seriously? Multiply the first two issues by two. Stupid. Who buys this size? This guy:

Bristol Palin to Name Son 'Morgan Freeman Johnston'

WASILLA, Ak. -- Just one day after the father of her baby and future husband Levi Johnston spoke on their pending nuptials and hinted at the possible sex of their child, Bristol Palin has announced that they have decided on a name for the baby. After confirming that the child is indeed a boy, Palin proclaimed that they will be naming him 'Morgan Freeman Johnston', presumably after prolific actor Morgan Freeman. "After seeing the bravery and strength Mr. Freeman showed in his term as President," Palin said, "it seemed only natural to want such a wonderful man as the namesake of our child."

Mr. Johnston was also available for comment, stating that "Bristol and I caught the documentary about President Freeman on TBS last night." When asked which documentary he was referring to Johnston responded: "you know, 'Deep Impact'? Well, after seeing that, it was pretty clear we had our name."

Reporters could not get comment from Vice-Presidential nominee Sarah Palin about her daughter's choice, but sources close to Governor Palin said she "hoped to one day be as strong a leader as President Freeman." And that "she was joyfully awaiting a grandchild named not only after an incredibly strong President, but also after God himself as 'Bruce Almighty' later informed us."